Grandparents experiencing unplanned pregnancy
Bernie's mum - Her own words...
My earliest memory of Bernadette's pregnancy (then unknown) was looking (with concern) at a very pale, skinny, just 16 year old, whilstrecuperating from a severe flu and thus suggesting she buy a multi vitamin and thinking she maybe iron deficient. The following day I was summoned to "the bedroom" and I thought "Oh Boy/Girl trouble. Then a teary Bernadette told me she was pregnant and so much filtered through my mind.........Education? Career? Modelling? Yes, Bernadette was approached to model on the Myer Catwalk. I remained calm made a cup of tea and told Bernadette that"Only the Good Girls get pregnant". Unfortunately for us, at the time, her father and boyfriends parents didn't think so.
So off to the doctors the following day to have her pregnancy confirmed by a blood test. The blood nurse boldly said in front of my beautiful daughter "It's not fair, I've been unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant for years and look at you, your only 16. This incident anddemeaning remark was one of manyBernadette had to deal with. Our GP was excellent and ran through both scenes with Bern, i.e. Birth or Abortion.I told Bernadette it was her body and so the choice was hers. My husband and I, as well as Damien's father, was so proud of Bernadette going ahead with the pregnancy, showing both determination and maturity beyond her years.
At times I felt sad for Bernadette when unthinkingpeople would look at her big belly whilst at the supermarket or at church. I felt her hurt. My father told her to "hold her head high, that she was as good as anyone else". Bernadette also missed out on those teenage events, i.e. School Graduation, Debutante Ball,an insensitive friend asking all her friends to celebrate her 18th, except for Bernadette - how insensitive to Bern's feelings. On the other hand one gracious (mother of 12) told Bernadette she had a baby before marriage and had regretted adopting that baby out, and not a day went by without thinking of that child.
All of Bernadette's doubts, concerns and fears were hid, without her complaining and Bernadette handled her pregnancy in a very adult manner. Bernadette attendeda Young Mothers Group at the Mercy Hospital for Women and met other courageous young ladies like her, one in particular she has kept in contact with. Bernadette made up her mind at that stage she wanted to bethe best mother to her baby and to help other young women in her position. I encourage any parent who finds themselves in my position to Love, Support and encourage their daughter. |
